Making Ex Miss You

Getting Back With Your Ex Step 2 - Making them Miss You

Have you ever missed somebody?

I'm talking about really missing them. Missing them so much that your heart actually hurts?

No Contact Phase

People will never understand this type of pain until they go through it. And it's also what you're going through right now - missing your ex so much that the seconds seem like hours, and you can think of nothing else but being back in their arms again.

But let's get back to missing someone.

In every case, the times where you most felt disconnected from somebody was when they were gone. Maybe your loved one went on vacation, or as a child, your parents took a trip. You missed them every day. And more importantly, as time went on, you missed them even more.

This is exactly what's going on right now, during your breakup. And not only are you missing your ex? But your exboyfriend or exgirlfriend is also missing you.

Now I know this might be hard to believe, but your ex is going through almost everything you are. The same longing. The same heartbreak. The same symptoms of withdrawal.

It's like your relationship was a drug (because it kind of was), and it was suddenly cut off all at once. The fact that it was your ex who cut the cord means very little here, because both sides are going through the same pain and loss.

But you know what makes that loss go away? SEEING YOUR EX. Or even worse than that, having your ex see or hear from YOU.

See, that's the one thing that stops the pain. Talking to your ex, hearing from them, texting them, calling... physically running into them, face to face? All of those things are forms of contact that will instantly numb or stop the pain of having beem broken up from each other.

And all of those things are BAD.

The No Contact Method of Getting Back Together

Understanding why leaving your ex alone is the only way they'll miss you

I'm going to tell you something, and you need to get it straight right now:

Your ex will never miss you until you TOTALLY GO AWAY

This isn't opinion, it's FACT. It's hard-coded, deep-seeded, human nature. It's in our DNA to miss the things we don't have - especially the things we lost - and to take for granted the things we have, or in this case, the things that are easily within reach.

Right now? Your ex knows he or she can have you back. Anytime they want to, they can turn around and crook their finger, and you'd come running back to fall pathetically at their feet.

And guess what?

THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOUR EX DOESN'T WANT YOU

Getting an ex to miss you again is as simple as not being around. As easy as no longer being available. As straightforward as disconnecting all avenues of contact, and making yourself scarce, rare, and VALUABLE again.

Of course, this is where "no contact" comes in. Yes, we've all heard it. And yeah, it sounds so dumb. Walking away from something you want so much, when in the back of your mind you're screaming that this is the exact thing that will make your ex NOT want you anymore. As if staying in the picture would make your ex think about you more than ever, and that disappearing from their radar will make them quickly forget about you.

But that's all backwards.

It's difficult to turn off your feelings long enough to go away, but to make your ex miss you you'll have to do exactly that. NO CONTACT should be your mantra. You should wake up and think it. Go to bed and say it as a prayer. You should believe fully and completely that staying as far away from your ex as possible is the one thing that's going to accomplish your biggest goal: making your ex need to hear from you again.

How to Go Completely No Contact

Turning off all communication between you and your ex

When it comes to no contact, you can't half-ass it. You can't say "well, I won't call or text my ex, but I'll still 'Like' their Facebook posts and Instagram photos".

No Contact is all or nothing. It's about turning off every aspect of connectivity. For example:

No Phone Calls - Talking to your ex will immediately kill all chances that they might actually miss you. It'll make you seem needy instead of mysterious, and desperate instead of valuable (and datable).

No Emails - No matter how many emails you used to send back and forth, you need to stop ALL forms of communication. Don't email your ex, and if he or she happens to send you some lame joke or group e-blast, don't respond to them.

No Texting - Yes, I know you texted your ex thousands of times in the past. Yes, I know you think text-messaging is innocent. But if you text your ex even once during No Contact? You'll have to start that phase all over again from the beginning.

No Social Media - Be it Facebook or Instagram or whatever you use, updating your social media is actually the WORST thing you can do during a breakup. It allows your ex to see what you're up to, and to see that you haven't gone anywhere. Don't disconnect your ex or unfriend them, but don't stalk their social media pages or overly update your own (at least right now).

Remember: you need to be mysterious. You need your ex to wonder what happened to you. You need them curious and even insecure that you go over them so quickly, or that the possibility exists that you've even moved on.

Now there are social media manipulation techniques that you CAN use to make your boyfriend or girlfriend interested again, but only if they haven't been responding.

Learn precisely when these methods should be used, and how they can help rekindle the fires of your past relationship through past history and nostalgia.

How Long Should You Go No Contact?

Knowing exactly when it's time to reconnect again

So... the big question everyone's always asking: How long to go No Contact?

Well, opinions differ.

Women should watch this free video. It explains exactly when your silence is working, and what the signs will be when an ex boyfriend is ready to reach out to you. It also tells you how long you should go before reaching out to your ex again, in the event they haven't called.

Men should watch this video here. It does the same things, only from a male perspective on the female psyche. You'll learn what to say to your ex girlfriend when you do get back in touch, and how you can make positive gains after the disconnect phase.

Once you've gone the required amount of no contact, it's time for Step 3:

Instant Adjustments That Will Make Your Ex Want You

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The Magic of Making Up