Make Ex Want You Back

Getting Back With Your Ex Step 3 - Make Your Ex Want You

Okay, so what do you do during the No Contact phase?

Do you sit on your hands and wait? Or are there things you can do - improvements you can make - that will not only regain your ex's attention, but actually their admiration and attraction?

Attract Your Ex

Fortunately there are LOTS of things you can do here. All of them will help out, and doing most of them will greatly increase the chances of running your ex back into your arms again.

First though, let's talk about original attraction. These are the traits that made your ex take notice of you in the first place. Some of them are physical, sure, but many of them are personality traits. And it's these things you probably need to work on.

"But wait!" you say. "I'm not going to change to get someone back! My girlfriend or boyfriend should accept me for who I am! Right???"

Yeah, sure. Right. But ask yourself this: what if you've already changed?

What if the person your ex fell crazily in love with all those months or years ago is completely different than the person you are now?

Think about the beginning of the relationship. You treated your boyfriend like a king, right? Your girlfriend like a princess? You laughed at every joke and smiled all those secret smiles and whenever your ex did something small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things you pretty much just let it go, right?

So what about now? Toward the end of your romance, were you jealous? Controlling? Did you snoop your ex's phone whenever they went to the bathroom, or try to stalk them on social media to make sure they weren't doing anything behind your back?

Did you pick on every little thing your ex did that you didn't like? Turn those things into fights? How about stupid fights - the ones basically over nothing. Did you have a lot of those?

Were you insecure? It's time to be honest. Did you allow those insecurities to turn into resentment for your partner? Instead of being happy for their successes did you feel envious or angry that they weren't yours?

Did you ever look at yourself and think "damn, maybe I'm dating out of my league..." and in return, try to drag your boyfriend or girlfriend down to your level rather than prop them up like a cool, caring, supportive partner?

If you did any of these things, that's good. Because now you can FIX THEM.

Changes That Will Make Your Ex Want You

Re-creating the person you were back when your ex first fell in love with you

The first thing you need to do right now is close your eyes. Picture the person you were, back when your ex first met you, and try to envision the circumstances surrounding your life.

Were you happy? Enthusiastic? How about confident or charismatic? All of those things are traits people find attractive in a mate, and that goes for guys as well as girls.

Now look at your personal life. Did you have a lot of friends? Did you do a lot of cool things with them, and then included your girlfriend or boyfriend when you first started dating them?

People are attracted to mates who are social. Because if you have friends, you must be someone cool to hang out with, cool to be with, and therefore, cool to date.

How about hobbies or outside interests? Did you have any of those when you met your boyfriend or girlfriend? Maybe you played sports on a team or two. Maybe you liked to scuba dive, or BASE jump, or shoot pool. Whatever you did, these things made you interesting. And if you stopped doing them, simply because you spent too much time with your ex? Well, that could be why you lost some value in their eyes.

The point here is simple: whoever you were? Try to be that person again. Whatever you did? Try to recreate those things. You don't have to be someone you're not, you only have to be the person your ex saw when they fell for you. Because the closer you can get to the original you? The more you'll remind your ex of the old times. The good times, back during the honeymoon portion of your romance, when everything was all puppy dogs and rainbows and fireworks.

Traits That Will Make Your Ex Notice You Again

Because positivity breeds positive results

Most people gloss over themselves when it comes to convincing an ex to take them back. They focus so much on what happened during the relationship, and how they plan to "fix" whatever they believe went wrong, they never realize that success depends on giving their lover what they actually want instead.

The following traits are fairly universal in attracting someone as a potential partner. See which of them you fall short in, and then work on those areas:

Physical Appearance - Hey, I'd be lying if I said looks didn't count. Because the first thing your ex saw when they originally met you, before you even opened your mouth to say hi? It was your looks. So yeah, hit the gym. Trim down, buff up - do whatever you have to do. Getting healthy will clear your head, release endorphins and make you feel better mentally as well as physically. Working on your body is always a win-win situation, whether you get your ex back or not.

Clothing - Many people don't realize, over the course of dating someone, how relaxed they can get in their appearance. What starts as sharp shirts and crisp skirts can quickly end up as ripped jeans and sweatpants. So go out and SHOP. Get whatever you need to look good. That might include new clothes, shoes, sneakers, a haircut or a tan... whatever it is, make sure that when your ex does finally see you again they notice something they wish they never threw away.

Zero Insecurity - If you were an insecure boyfriend or girlfriend, now's the time to fix it. Stop worrying about whether or not you're good enough for somebody, and start BEING good for them. Because after a long period of wondering how you measure up? Your ex will start wondering as well.

Don't be Controlling - Oppression will kill your relationship from the inside out. As you try to keep track of everything your boyfriend does, or everyone your girlfriend sees, what you're really doing is giving them an excuse to start hiding things from you. Control never works. A controlling person is always going to lose their spouse or mate - it's only a matter of time.

Go Outside of Your Comfort Zone - Getting out there and just doing something is the first step to snapping out of a breakup. But if you want your ex back? You'll want to get out there and do something that will make them take notice of you. In most cases, this means trying new things. Going new places, and seeing new people. Old friends are great, but the more new stuff you can experince after the breakup? The more your ex will wonder - when they finally hear about it - why you never did those things with them.

Date Other People - Last and most important of all? You have to start dating again. Yes, even if you want your ex back. And yes, especially if your ex is going to see that you're dating again. Nothing makes someone reconsider a breakup more than the realization that their former boyfriend or girlfriend has a new love interest. It doesn't matter if this relationship is serious or not, it only matters that your ex gets jealous of your new situation (and trust me, they will).

Understand something important: value is EVERYTHING. The more valuable you make yourself, the more your ex will question their decision to let you slip away.

You can't get your ex back by "promising to change" or telling them you'll "fix" the problems of your relationship.

You can't get them back by reminding them of the old times and past history you shared together, (although there are these 4 special tactics you can use to rekindle those fires. Doing so will make it easier for your ex to miss you, and make the whole reconciliation process that much quicker.

Your former lover will only want you back when one important thing occurs: you're attractive to them as a mate. This must happen before anything else, because when it does, it makes all the other getting your ex back steps a thousand times easier.

Once you've recreated the person you once were, it's time for the next step:

Getting Back in Touch With Your Ex

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The Magic of Making Up