Meeting Your Ex

Getting Back With Your Ex Step 5 - First Time Seeing Your Ex

If you've gotten to this point, good news: your ex obviously still has feelings for you.

You've made your ex miss you, need to hear from you, and want to know more about your life without them. You've remade yourself in your original image, and you've created value.

First Time Seeing Ex

Now it's time to get your ex to see you again.

If your ex suggests meeting up, hey, you're golden. You're probably even further ahead than you think you are, in getting your former boyfriend or girlfriend to want you again.

If not, that's cool too. Because now I'm going to teach you how to ask your ex out on a date, without it really being a "date" at all.

Keep in mind that seeing your ex for the first time can be challenging. You'll be nervous, and that nervousness might show. This is a point when you have to keep your confidence high, and your insecurities at an all-time low. But you know something? Your ex will be just as nervous to see you too.

Anyway, back to getting them to meet you. The next time your ex calls, or texts you, make them wait a few hours before calling again. This isn't to punish them. It's to reinforce the fact that you're still a very busy person with a super-awesome life outside of them.

Finally, when you do call back, get straight to the point:

"Hey, sorry, things have been absolutely nuts over here. Rather than do the phone or text-back-and-forth thing, let me take you out for a cup of coffee so we can properly catch up."

Remember: this isn't a date. Never refer to it that way. But in the back of your mind, you want to treat it that way. And by the time it's over? You'll want to have stirred up at least some of the original romantic feelings you once had for each other.

There are a few ways to do that. One of them is with this emotional bonding secret. Learn it well, because used at the right time it can really put your ex in mindset of getting back together. And pretty quickly, too.

The Reunion Date

This is it! How to make it go as smoothly as possible

Before you even ask your ex to meet up with you, make sure you have a place in mind. Someplace neutral, and more importantly, comfortable. A place where you can actually have FUN.

One good idea is a food/arcade place, like Dave & Busters. There you can grab something to eat, a few drinks, and do something mindless and fun like playing video games or throwing skee-ball. You want the type of environment that's conducive to laughter, and a place where body language and even some light touching might come into play (but more on that later).

More important than anything else, you need to play it cool. Be friendly, be funny, and make absolutely sure you make your ex laugh. This is going to lighten the mood. It'll make it so that your former lover lets down their defenses. You want them open to talking, but you don't want to bring up the subject of your past relationship.

If this happens, it's not a bad thing. It means your ex is still thinking about you in that way. Let them say whatever they had to, then smile and tell them:

"Let's forget all that for now. I just wanted to hang out and catch up. But I'm starting to remember how much fun we have together."

Make your ex feel as comfortable as possible, and if they're responsive to you? That's when you start some light flirting.

You know the drill here. Wait until something funny gets said, and then touch your ex's arm when you laugh. That sort of thing. If they're still responding, make even more eye contact. Let things happen naturally, and don't try to force them.

As the date wears on, one of two things will happen. Either your ex will respond to your subtle advances, or they won't. If they do, continue with some even stronger cues. And if you're not sure what to do? Relationship guru Brad Browing has an amazing chapter on Kinesthetic Attraction. These are ways of turning someone on to you without them even realizing that you're turning them on.

There are Kino techniques for men, and if you're trying to get your girlfriend back you NEED to learn them. The whole thing is an amazing approach to reconnecting on some very base levels of human instinct.

There are Kino techniques for women, too. These will show you the best ways to make an ex boyfriend physically and emotionally need you again, through some very simple, subtle actions on your part.

Avoiding Being 'Friends' With Your Ex After the Breakup

Because the last thing you need right now is to fall into the Friend Zone

Probably the worst thing that could happen during your reunion date is that it goes so mundane and mediocre you end up parting "as friends". Ugh.

Yet a lot of people will grasp onto this. If you're weak or desperate for any kind of attention from your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, you might be tempted to jump at the chance for some kind of platonic connection.

For tons of reasons, being friends with an ex won't ever help get them back. You can't stage a reconciliation from a position of friendship, no matter what you might've been told by others.

Ex Wants to Be Friends

So yes, your'e going to have to be flirty. Yes, you'll need to turn on the charm. I'm not saying you should be desperate in your attempts at these things, but you should feel some level of familiarity with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend. Enough, at least, to make an attempt at seducing them in a way that's not along the lines of "we should still be friends".

Friendships with an ex never work. One person always still loves the other. In every breakup there's a winner and a loser, and the person still clinging onto friendship as a means of getting close to their exboyfriend or exgirlfriend is always going to end up getting hurt.

This is exactly why the reunion date is so important. You need to establish an emotional - and even sexual - connection with this person you once dated.

Remember: they loved you once. They were attracted to you enough to go out with you. The love they had for you is still there, only buried beneath a ton of "hey I'm moving on" right now. The only way to get back together is to wade through all that and unbury those emotional ties. And friendship is never the path back to your ex's heart.

Now if you've already sort of become friends with your ex, there are ways you can fix it. These require immediate action, because the longer you remain friends with an ex, the further removed (romantically) you become from their life.

After You've Met Up With Your Ex

What comes next after the reunion date?

Once you've successfully reconnected face to face, a lot of what happens next should come naturally. If you've followed all the steps, and improved on all the areas we talked about earlier, your ex should be overwhelmingly attracted to you again.

There should be a playful, flirtatious, 'first date' vibe to everything as well. Because when you've been apart so long, and you've missed each other so much? Getting back together always has a magical feel to it.

Alright, let's get on to that last and final step:

Reconciliation - Rebuilding Your Relationship

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The Magic of Making Up