How to Fix Breakup

Getting Back With Your Ex Step 6 - Recommitting Again

At this point you are inches away from getting back together with your ex. The last thing necessary is that one final push that will make you boyfriend and girlfriend again.

Sex With my Ex

With a little luck, your reunion date was a success. Your meet-up was so fun, so successful, that it led to another one. Or maybe it even led back to your place, or your ex's place, or any place the two of you could fall into bed together.

Sex is the ultimate goal when trying to get back together, because if you've followed all the other steps? The closeness and intimacy of being with each other can easily rekindle the original sparks of the early, honeymoon portion of your relationship.

For guys, having sex with an ex girlfriend will generally lead to attachment. Women are more prone to take sex as a commitment than men are, which means if your ex girlfriend ended up naked with you, getting back together is now easily within each.

For girls, sex with an ex boyfriend isn't always a slam dunk. Some guys are jerks; they'll use you for sex, knowing full well that you still have feelings for them. Make sure you weren't taken advantage of by going over the other five steps in detail. The more want and need and value you create before you sleep with your ex boyfriend? The more likely he will be to need you back as a girlfriend again, and not just as some retro-sexual adventure.

There are big disadvantages to the "friends with benefits" arrangement. It might be cool with a third or fourth-generation ex-lover (long after those feelings are gone), but when you're having sex with someone you still love and want back as a mate? You'd better be sure that sex means as much to you as it does to them.

Getting Your Ex to Go Back Out With You

Understanding that final commitment isn't always that easy

Okay, now how many of you are in this situation:

"Listen, I love you - I really do - but I don't know if I'm ready to get back into a relationship with you just yet..."

This is what's known as a stalled reconciliation. Fixing your breakup was going well, up until the point where your ex needed to commit to being with you again. But rather than say those magical words, "will you be my girlfriend/boyfriend" again, they give you a short, lame speech about "needing time" or "not being ready yet".

Get Ex to Go Back Out

When this happens, you unfortunately have to get tough. It's easy to revert back to the pleading stage, where you're trying to convince your ex to come back or 'sell' them on the relationship.

In truth, you shouldn't have to do that. Your boyfriend or girlfriend should be thrilled to be back with you again, not wishy-washy about getting back together.

When you get this vibe, it's time to back off. Don't sleep with your ex, or even answer their calls right away.

You need to slip back into unavailability, and make your partner very worried they could possibly lose you again.

They shouldn't feel like they can get hold of you whenever they want, go out and have fun (and have sex) with you, and then not commit themselves to the one thing you still really want: an exclusive, monogamous relationship with them.

And when you do finally speak to them? Say something like:

"Look, I'm into giving this another shot. But not if you don't want it. So either we date or we don't date, but I have to be honest... there's no middle ground as far as I'm concerned."

Be prepared to stand tough on this. If your ex can't call you his girlfriend or boyfriend, it's time to let them know you're not hanging around.

"I don't do the whole 'relationship limbo' thing. It might be better off if we both move on, and start seeing other people."

This kind of tough love approach lets your ex immediately know they stand to lose you. It breaks down that last barrier - the one that's preventing them from going back out with you.

Sometimes an ex will give certain excuses for not getting back together. Maybe they want to tell their family first. Or their friends. And that's fine. But don't give them more than a few days. If you do, they'll stall. They'll start looking for other excuses and delays, and that's when you start looking needy again.

Now if your ex is already dating someone else? You can use these tactics to accelerate the process of them breaking up with their new lover and getting back with you. Nostalgia is a powerful thing, and you'll be able to utilize your past history as a big advantage in making them recommit.

Starting Fresh - Your Brand New Relationship

Simple ways you can make thing better this time around

Okay, so you've gotten back together with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Congratulations!

Now however, the real work begins.

Know this: you and your partner broke up for a reason. Sometimes even several reasons, broken down over the course of a long relationship.

How to Get Your Ex Back

Did you ignore each other? Take each other for granted and drift apart? Was there cheating involved? Or just a big bunch of knock-down, drag-out fights?

Whatever happened to drive you apart, those same things will happen again if you don't fix them. And this is something that must be done together, so that you and your lover can move forward into a new relationship, free from the burdens that dragged you down.

First and foremost, agree to bury the demons of the past. No matter what happened before the breakup, you should let it go and forgive each other. You want to build a foundation of love and trust, and this can't happen if you're always punishing each other for things you did before you broke up.

Remember: this relationship is NEW. It's unfettered by all those old fights, all that past jealousy and whatever other garbage caused you to part ways. If you want to be happy together, you need to realize this. Both of you.

There are some really amazing clean slate techniques by romance expert T.W. Jackson. Read up on these, because this very brilliant man can show you not only how to get back with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, but more importantly, how to KEEP that relationship fresh, exciting, and full of love for each other even after you've reconciled.

Still Don't Have Your Ex Back?

Other resources that will help win back your ex's heart

EVERY breakup can be reversed. Somewhere out there, among the thousands of different paths you can take, is the one true road that leads back into your ex's heart and mind.

That said, there are times when you'll need additional measures to fix things. What works for one person might not work for another, and getting different viewpoints will give you different approaches on what might be the best course of action.

Aside from the six step approach you've already read here, there are dozens of other useful tips and tricks for getting an ex back scattered throughout this website. Read them, learn them, and decide which of them will be best suited for your needs.

Beyond that, there are some very amazing guides that can offer even more detailed help than you've already received. Some are written, some contain audio, and many of them come with lots of great instructional videos you can watch (and take notes on). All of them are instantly downloadable, and you can be learning the techniques they teach - and applying them - within only a few minutes.

Check out our Breakup Guide Review Page to learn tons more about these systems.

Finally, remember: keep your chin up! Getting back together can be a long road sometimes, but the more positive you stay? The much better your chances of making your ex fall for you again.

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The Magic of Making Up