Ex Still Texting Me

Why is my Ex Still Sending me Texts?

They sat you down. They broke up with you. They walked away. And a day or two later... a TEXT shows up from your ex.

"Hey, what's up?"

Okay to Text Ex

What's up? Your heart is shredded. You've been utterly miserable since the breakup. But now here's your ex, sending innocuous, innocent messages about your day. About how "things" are. About just about everything, except the one subject you really want to talk about: getting back together.

So what the hell gives? How should you respond? Are you doomed to make small talk with your ex for the rest of your life, simply because you have a text chat going? Or do you refuse to answer, and cut off that one last connection to the person you still love?

Why is My Ex Sending Mixed Signals?

Well, these aren't exactly mixed signals. I mean, they are and they aren't.

To you they might be. You expected your boyfriend or girlfriend to move on after dumping you, and the last thing you thought was that you'd hear from them again. The idea of texting your ex probably excites you. It makes you think there's hope. And to be honest, there sort of is.

At the same time, these texts are killing you. Each one is like a punch to the gut. You have to sit there and take it; listening to your ex talk about his or her day, asking what they did without sounding like you're prying, and of course, praying that none of these texts are the dreaded: "I've started seeing someone else".

The good news is that when an ex is still sending text messages after the break up it's a big sign they still have some level of feelings for you.

The bad news? That your ex is using those texts as lifeline to venture further and further away from you. They're out prowling around, playing the field, enjoying the bemefits of single life... while you sit there as their "safe, familiar place to go back to" should they decide they're finished exploring.

And when your ex finds something or someone else? They cut the umbilical cord. The texts suddenly stop, and when you try to text them your former girlfriend or boyfriend doesn't even respond. So you text again, or maybe you even call. And then you get that feared reply, the one that makes you feel like a complete asshole:

"You have to stop. It's over. You're smothering me."

All of a sudden your ex doesn't need you anymore. The texting was just a way for them to let go of you GRADUALLY. Like peeling off a Band-Aid slowly, to minimize the pain, instead of ripping it off all at once.

Texting With Your Ex After The Breakup

The highs and lows of trying to get back through text messaging

Okay, now ideally you'd like to get your ex back. This means re-attracting them in some way, and that of course means you'll need some sort of contact.

You already know that going NO CONTACT after the breakup is one of the best ways to make your ex miss you. In fact, it's the only way. This is step 2 of the entire get your ex back process.

Ex Texting

But what if your ex is texting you?

Do you ignore that contact, or can you somehow use it as a tool to make them miss you even more?

Well for starters, there's a brilliant guide on how to control your ex, and using text messages, even get them to come back. Check this out first, and see if it applies to your particular situation.

Beyond that, if your ex is still sending messages and communicating with you after the relationship officially ended, there are some pretty sneaky things you can do.

First of all, ALL contact you make with your ex is crucial. Anything you say to them, any kind of mood or 'vibe' you give off... those things are all vital in creating an atmosphere where your ex sees you as desirable again.

So let's take a moment to go over what's desirable:

Happiness is the single most important trait you need to exhibit if you want to win your boyfriend or girlfriend back. No, they don't care that you're miserable. No, they're not going to feel sorry for you if you've been crying or devastated. In fact, those things will have the opposite effect. Your ex will be turned off by all your whining.

Confidence shows your ex that you're doing awesome. It's an attractive trait to begin with, but when your ex thinks you're doing better than they are? They begin to question their decision to cut you loose.

Independence is extremely important. Are you texting your ex back within seconds after they text you? Are you initiating text messages with them? All of that is needy behavior. Stop it right away; you should be happy and confident independent of your ex at all times.

Busyness conveys that life goes on without your boyfriend or girlfriend. Time didn't stop simply because they broke up with you, and whatever they might be doing, you're out doing even better things. Always remain busy: go out with friends, see family, pick up new hobbies and try new stuff. No matter what happens, your ex should turn around and see that you're rarely even sitting still. You're off having all kinds of fun adventures without them, and this is going to create jealousy and envy even if it was your exes's idea to break up.

So yeah, EVERY SINGLE TIME your ex contacts or text-messages you, they should get the impression of the four qualities above. And when you've given that impression, you'll start to see signs that your ex misses you, as well.

How to Respond When Your Ex Texts You

These responses will always get a reaction from your ex

Alright, so here's what you do when your ex keeps texting you. The first move is 'The Snub'. You use it when your ex sends some lame, innocent type of text like "Whazup?" or something equally dumb. You respond with:

"Oh hey, cool. Can't talk now. Text later."

Right off the bat your ex is intrigued. "Why can't he/she talk right now? What are they doing?" Whatever it is, it's obviously more important than talking to THEM.

This raises your value slightly, but lowering theirs. Until now your ex believed he or she was the most imporant person in your life, and that even after dumping you, they could get you back. But here, you're too busy for them. Which means that somewhere along the line, something has taken their place.

Often your ex won't text again right away. But if they do, and ask something like "Why, what are you doing?" your next move is to completely ignore them.

This is even better. Because now you left your ex hanging out there, with an unanswered text. Whatever you're doing has to be something that keeps you really busy... or... you're doing something sneaky-ish, where you can't even text your ex boyfriend or girlfriend back.

From here, their mind runs through a bunch of crazy scenarios. All of these scenarios are bad for them. Silence can undermine your ex's confidence more than any thousand other texts you can send them, so keep this in mind.

The next text-message move will peak your ex's curiosity even more. I call it 'Mystery Date'.

You wait until your ex texts you again, and no matter what they say, you reply with:

"Hi. Please don't text me the rest of the night. Text me tomorrow."

Instantly this evokes the only real image it can: you're out with someone else. Being on a date, or at least hanging with someone else is the only reason you might tell your former boyfriend or girlfriend to lay off texting you for an entire evening.

Obviously you're with someone. Obviously you don't want that person to see that you're still carrying on textual conversations with your ex. This is exactly what your boyfriend or girlfriend will think; that you're trying to work on someone new, and you're shoving them away temporarily while you have your 'date'.

Again, whether or not your ex replies to this, ignore them completely. Don't argue, don't explain. Don't say another word. You want your ex to stew the entire night, wondering where you are, wondering who you're with, and best of all, imagining what you might be doing with this new person.

And tomorrow, when your ex texts you? Don't answer that day either. Let them believe that whatever happened the night before might've carried on into the next day. Even if your boyfriend or girlfriend isn't ready to jump back into your arms, you're creating VALUE. You're showing that you're something to be desired, and that in throwing you away, this person who used to date you has made a permanent choice rather than playing out a trial breakup to see where it leads.

Text Your Ex Back

Now, before you go and do anything else, make sure you download and read Text Your Ex Back.

This system is pretty amazing; it's filled with dozens of other ideas you can use to get back your ex boyfriend or girlfriend through the use of text-messaging.

It also shows you the 12 biggest mistakes people make when facing or talking to their ex after a breakup, and why those mistakes can be hindering (or even destroying) the process of getting back together.

If your ex is texting you, this is especially vital. It's something you're going to want to read before answering even ONE more of their messages.

Click here for instant download, and get started on the path to fixing your breakup, rather than answering wrongly and making things worse.



Back With Ex LeftColumn Top Back With Ex LeftColumn Bottom Back With Ex LeftColumn Top Back With Ex LeftColumn Bottom Back With Ex LeftColumn Top Back With Ex LeftColumn Bottom

The Magic of Making Up