Ways to Contact Ex

Ways to Contact Your Ex After the Breakup

It's awkward. It's difficult. And if you do it wrong, you look like a chump:

Making that first important contact with your ex boyfriend or girlfriend after they break up with you.

Ex Won't Talk to Me

In most cases, people do things that are disasterously wrong. They call their exes right after the breakup. They beg, they plead, they do anything and everything to get a "second chance".

In fact there are 12 unforgivable mistakes people make when a boyfriend or girlfriend first breaks up with them. How many do you plan on making yourself?

Hell, maybe you've even made some already. You've tried convincing your ex to talk to you. As if you could sit them down, just one more time, you could make them see logic or reason.

In your head you've made the speech a thousand times: how we can still be a couple. What needs to happen to make your ex happy, and how you can implement such a plan. As long as they please, please don't break up with you.

And if you're here, reading this? It's because your ex didn't want to hear it. He or she sat there arms folded, unable to look you in the eye. Maybe they interrupted you and walked out. Maybe they let you finish. Either way, the answer was still the same: NO. No more relationship.

So now what? How do you get back in touch with an ex who doesn't want to hear from you?

How can you get your boyfriend or girlfriend back, when for every step you take they take two steps backward? How can you put them in your arms again, when all they want to do is shove you away?

Knowing When It's Time to Contact Your Ex

Just like in life, when reversing a breakup timing is everything

Before anything else, you'll need to make your ex MISS you. Because contacting them before they miss you is reconciliation suicide.

Trust me when I say this: give yourself a chance. By suffering through the No Contact phase, you're ensuring that your former boyfriend or girlfriend has to suffer through it too.

Read up on Step 2 of the getting back together process, which shows exactly how to make your ex miss you. Once you've done that, come back here and we'll talk about what you can do to get back in touch with your ex, and re-open all those old lines of communication between the two of you.

Back already? GOOD! Let's move on:

Best Methods for Contacting an Ex Boyfriend or Girlfriend

If you've really kicked ass during the No Contact phase, your ex will have called you. This is because you did everything right, and made your ex miss you so much they can no longer stand the mystery of where the hell you went.

Now if your ex hasn't called or contacted you? There are some sneaky ways of making them do so found in this video. Check it out, because you may have missed something.

That said, if your ex still hasn't reached out to you, you're going to need to contact them. And since this is perhaps the most crucial step in the process of getting them to want you back, you'll need to do this 100% correctly.

• Be 100% Positive in Your Approach

First, ANY and ALL contact you make with your ex should one-hundred percent organic happiness. No acting, no bullshitting - your ex will see through those things. In essence, your entire attitude should be one of total contentment and positivity.

When to Contact Ex

So be polite. Be warm, but also cool. You can't be overly excited when you talk to your ex, or they'll take it as a sign of neediness, and that's going to hurt your chances.

Remember: you're strong, you're confident, you're independant. You've agreed that you're better off apart (Step 1).

Your life is awesome whether you get back together with them or not. So any contact you have right now is friendly in nature. It's more of a nostalgic connection, designed to bring out and feed any emotional ties your ex might still have to you.

If you see your ex physically, make sure you smile. Try to remember what it was like when you first hooked up, and how you flashed them looks of interest. Most of all, be comfortable. Because if you're not, your ex will know it.

• Have Something to Talk About

Did you get a promotion? Win some kind of award, or graduate from school since you last spoke to your ex?

These are all good things to talk about, and they give legitimate reasons for speaking to your exgirlfriend or exboyfriend. That said, it's even better if you have something to talk about involving them.

So if something significant recently happened in their life? Talk about that. Or ask how their family is doing, if you've been dating long enough to have gotten involved with that aspect of their life. If a movie is coming out that you know your boyfriend or girlfriend has been waiting for? Tell them you saw the trailer and that it looked awesome.

If you still don't know what to talk about check out the list found here. It gives very good and specific reasons for contacting an ex, and then tells you what to say when you do get back in touch with them.

• Contact Your Ex at a Time They're Available

First, decide if you're going to call your ex on the phone or if you'll make that contact through texting or email. If you choose the latter, make sure you avoid these text-message pitfalls which might sabotage the whole process of getting back in touch.

Second, make sure you choose the right time to talk to them again. Calling in the morning is just plain stupid; your former boyfriend or girlfriend will be doing a million things to get ready for their day. Afternoons are usually busy (i.e. work and school), and you'll want to avoid contacting them at dinner time as well.

This leaves the evening, which is an excellent time to get back in touch. The day is almost over, and your ex is probably a bit drained (but not too tired). This makes the more vulnerable. More open to talking, and therefore taking a call from you.

Night time is also conducive to "thinking back" on things, making it much more likely that your ex will be missing or even thinking about you you at the time you contact them.

What EXACTLY Should I Say to My Ex?

Now that you've got the timing down, know what to say

There are certain things inherent to all breakups: withdrawing, creating distance, making your ex miss you, and then getting back in touch with them again.

That said, men and women respond very differently to contact. What men often want isn't something necessarily valued by women, and vice versa. For this reason, it's good to have a gender-specific approach to things.

The Ex Factor System lists specific scenarios that apply to your own particular breakup. It then tells EXACTLY what to say when you start communicating with your ex again, and how you can use emotional connections and your past history together as a springboard to win your boyfriend or girlfriend back.

Check out this free video made specifically for women involved in a breakup who are currently trying to win back an ex boyfriend.

And for men trying to get back together with a girlfriend who dumped them, here's another version telling you what to do first.

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The Magic of Making Up